Thursday, April 21, 2005

Am I Existentialist???

Everybody knows that life never moves at the same pace. There are highs and lows with respect to emotions, financial conditions, career success, etc. There are times when you have strong drives. You have strong emotions for something. A passion for something, when you can totally die for it. e.g. the passion for glory. An individual is so concerned to achieve that state, where everyone respects him, knows him for something he has achieved and that can be absolutely anything, glory of sports, glory of innovation…

With most of the people it’s a phase. A phase means it is bounded by time, something that lacks the property of permanence. But the time period of this phase varies from person to person. For some it may last the whole of there life span, for others it can be as short as that it lasts only first try. The definition fails for those for whom the phase lasts the whole of their life, no phase it is permanent for them. But for those of us who tend to lose interest in every second thing try, it is merely a temporal phase.

Twenty one years of age, and I have had drives for absolutely everything. But then I lose it. Lose it, because may be it is not for me. My life is not made for it. Try something different. Some phases last months, some last days and some can be as short as minutes, which get over after having some conflict with own mind and soul.

Maximum I remember is the phase of my interest in physics, which lasted around four years. The day I felt like being an astronaut. I was out to make things that ways. I was reading absolutely anything I got on astronomy. I made telescope, though later I used it to peep into a nearby girls lodging… :P…I made calculations to evaluate the speed one needs to reach the nearest star, the fuel we would need, I had a scarp book kind of thing in which I had all the info of stupid things I did. But it ended with my entering into the stupid field of biotechnology at IIT. But no more remorse, and that for a strange reason.

I recently discovered that I am very close to something called Existentialist. I am someone to who things don’t matter much. It doesn’t matter if I win or lose. It doesn’t matter I get something or not. It doesn’t matter if people are angry or happy. It doesn’t matter if no one is listening. It doesn’t matter if you are alone because you have your own self with you. It doesn’t matter if someone loves you or not till the time you love your own self. If something is positive it is good, if something is not it should not have been like that, that’s it not much to crib about it. No more lounging for the things that I can’t find after a certain degree of effort. As may be god has something better for me and even if he doesn’t have it is still fine. I am not being pessimistic, I am just being satisfied. I am satisfied with what follows. I am satisfied with what is destined. It is not that I have lost the will but I have gained a new approach of satisfaction in case of failure. I am happy when I succeed but I am not depressed when I fail.

It is not exactly being existentialist but quite close to that. And in fact it is close to what is written in Bhagvad Gita which conveys, “One should not worry about the result but nevertheless act”.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Yesterday is Gone! Live Today! Dont Die Tomorrow

What's done is done…time gone is gone…it's true when they say that time passed by never turns back to you again…have you ever wondered that there are so many places you have visited, so many people you saw almost daily, you might never see them again in your life? Life
seems to be paving a way of it's own and moving on, with you not being a participant of it as such, the individual seems to be lost in the bigger picture.

Have you ever noticed that we spend a substantial chunk of our time dreaming up goals and situations we desperately hope and wish to be in?…do you sometimes wish that time would just pass by quickly and you can be where you hope to be, I know I do! but have you ever
realized that while doing so, you are actually losing the moment you are living in? living each moment to the fullest….isn't that what life is all about? Tomorrow is going to come as it is…prolonging thinking about it isn't going to make it come any sooner! everything comes within it's own time and it is in turn reflected upon by our yesterday, and if our yesterday was a wasted day, then…you know what I mean…The point I'm trying to make here is, that at this minute, this instant it doesn't matter where you will be tomorrow, what matters is how is your today and how was your yesterday. The important thing is to be satisfied with your today and yesterday. Was your yesterday spent happy and satisfied?…Did you brighten up someone's day and hadn't that made you smile?

The strategy I'm trying to develop here is that, though you have no control of what's meant to be in tomorrow, if your today was good, there is a definite possibility of tomorrow being the same or even better! Alright you might argue that tomorrow we might be in hardship…see that's when yesterday being good comes in to play…that way you have sweet memories to ponder over! A hard day going softer by that sweet smile on your face!

The ultimate point I'm trying to make here is reaching and feeling the kind of day when you feel like you're on top of the world! You're a queen and everybody else is your subject! The most peaceful and tranquil state of mind a man can be in… you're wrapped up in your own cocoon and though you own the world, you're most distant from it, happy and self content!

To be a little more specific about the perfect day I'm talking about, let me quote Nancy Thayer:
"Some days, are more important than others. Some days you wake with your heart pounding and your hopes higher than the sky. Some days you know you are exactly where you are meant to be."- Nancy ThayerAnd that's the most beautiful day I'm sure anyone can witness!!

PS: This is a sophomoric effort by a frnd of mine. NOT MINE. Her name is Sana. All comments if any shld b directed to her.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

U Reap Wat u Sow

Times when you lose a friend without a reason
Times when everyone’s turned hostile
Times when no one’s listening while u r being loud n clear
Times when you r cheated while u were a sheep
Just keep the faith as god is there
Callin ur name n telling u
u reap wat u sow

Times when you fail to succeed despite a worthy effort
Times when you tend to hate everyone around
Times when you find no reasons for your misery
Times when all you can think of is suicide
Just keep the faith as god is there
Callin ur name n telling u
u reap wat u sow

Simple message: life is tough, we all need care, affection, support but at times we act in a fashion that hurts, something that isnt fair. Do justice to earn justice. Your past has an impact on your present. But your future is still in your present. Save it before it is too late.