Monday, July 25, 2005

Cinnamon Girl

Tennis is a game where you wait for ball to come to you, especially when you play a slow game of dry clay courts. Ramming the last shot with vigor and a feeling of banal pride, I ended the game. Pulling my socks up, and aligning the skewed matrix of racquet guts, I moved to the stands. Take some time before you grab the water bottle after a game, an always overlooked warning. I gulp a few milliliters of water, while my eyes still on the little space age kids. Really the so called “cool babies”, though even they know they are wearing plastic masks, their parents bought them from their riches. I take a deep breath, when I am checked by a pat on my rear head. I turn my head to see who it is. To much of surprise, it is that young girl I saw a little while ago, on the other side of the court. Fairly tomboyish, shoulder length hair locks, a cute smile and a greeting hi. “Hey”, I respond back. “Remember me”, she said. As blank as ever, I said, “no”. She bursts into an expected laughter. “How would you know me, we never met before”. “Yeah Right”. She took her eyes off me and started looking straight, “you want to play a game?” “No, not now”, I am already done, I replied without thinking. “I want you to teach me”, she surprised me with all that interest, and “I have been like watching you for a couple of weeks now”. “Hey thanks you considered me worth that”, I replied feeling honored. She looked back and smiled. There is something with pretty women that you just can’t say no, and if she smiles she knows that she is killing you. “Ok! Let’s give it a try. By the way, what’s your name”, I just couldn’t say no. “Sania Mirza”. “What the fuck”, I was creepy laughing. “Moron! That’s my name, all right! Just a coincidence that it is same as Sania Mirza”, she was annoyed a bit.
I taught her a few basics, and shot techniques. Surely she hadn’t learnt anything from the training she was taking and I wasn’t sure that she will retain what I told her. Good for me that she got tired quickly. She was friendly and not shy, unlike me. Certainly, now I take my broadsword out whenever I see such an assault. But I liked the way she took things along. We went for a coffee after the game. I generally drive fast, but this time I wanted it to be slow. I wanted to prolong the time as much as I could. You like chocolates, I said yes I do. Again her smiling face, I wondered why god has been ruthless to men. Why couldn’t he make all men gay and reproduce and work hard for the welfare of MAN kind. You want to go for a drive? I gathered tons of courage and asked her. Not to my surprise she gladly accepted, “that would be awesome”. We went to the road of basking pleasures. Both side lush green forest, curvy roads with tulips smelting gold, and with her arm around my seat. You know why we have no ways out of this world, its because of the pretty things we see here. Every now and then in life we find something that is beautiful. God knew how to control population in his worlds. He sent pretty, material things down to earth to stray goats personified as men. But at times in life you want to untie your self.
There was something I didn’t expect to flow in, “Teach my driving”. I resisted. I thought to myself this just gone adult might ram us down some where. She put her hand on my arm and pleaded trust. For a while I just wanted that she never left my arm, but then I would be a sculpture, with donkeys peeing on my feet and crows shitting on my head. “All right! All right, but we just go straight all right, and you do no ruff handling, go smooth”, would I have a chance to say thanks to god. Driving lessons to cutie, another nice job option. Did she smell good, god did all adversities with men only, even after so much sweating she was fragrant. You start slow. Ok. First lessons, I remembered my Dad’s driver, rather I should call him Guruji, and the things he taught me, first lessons are always remembered, like first kiss, first date, first heart break…you can never forget them. I told her all that shit and we moved forward with a few hitches. I just cannot help my dirty mind, or perhaps my so called Dog nature, I looked at her slender legs, and I could take my eyes of them. A woman charisma is like that only, a seduction act, when you let yourself lose. “Nice legs”, I ain’t afraid of complimenting her assets. She daggers another shot into my heart with her foxy eyes and naughty smile. To my ill fate the feet at the end of those flashy legs were pestering the poor accelerator a little too much. My heart concomitant with the poor engine both were pumping hard for survival.
“Hey! Calm down. Slow it baby, you don’t have to press it too hard”, I almost shouted. She didn’t listen; instead she gave a kinky look back. You are driving for the first time, slow it. She won’t listen, we were already crossing sixty, my grabbed the hand brake, and the need could be anytime. I screamed again, “why are you doing this? I will pull the hand brake if you persist”. Don’t do that she responded smiling. This girls gone crazy and is going kill me today. We will touch hundred in a little time, please slow down, I literally begged. She felt the wave and quivered not in fear but with a nitro boost. I will slow down if you say that you love me, she caught me with sheer surprise. What is this crap? I retorted. Are you high on crack? No but moron say that you love me. Why do you want me to love you? We don’t even know each other. No, just say it.
Why I have to be adamant about certain things all the time? All right! All right! I love you. I love you a lot Sweet heart. And she slowed down and granted me life. She brought the car from 60 to zero in less then five seconds and caused me palpitation. This crazy girl removed her seat belt and kissed me, or rather suffocated me, something that I was supposed to do. She was all drenched with excitement and told me that she knew how to drive; she was just playing a game, and yeah last but not the least she smelled good ;), the cinnamon girl.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

I died

Last night I passed away. I hit a strange kind of fever or perhaps it hit me. May be it is dengue that hit me; I was bit by a mosquito in the day. I looked at the watch; it was 3:15 in the morning. Got up and took a paracetamol. Body temperature must be around some what 105 degree Fahrenheit. Half of my body was burning and the part below my belly was like freezing cold. “What’s happening”, I questioned myself that I always do. Shall I move to sick bay, call an ambulance! Is life risky? May be it is! Sometimes you feel you are unstable. Your thinking totally challenged. I choose not to go, wondering what if I passed away. One man less in this world won’t really make a difference. So I chose to die. I smiled looking outside the window moving my heavy lips. What if I die? Sounded so funny at that moment. I am 21 and people don’t often die at this stage. And I wasn’t normal that ways so I am going to die. They say life flash backs when you are about to die and yes it did. I recalled everything from my birth to tonight. Happy moments and sad moments, good people and bad people. Did I feel smug? I wasn’t sure. Probably not. I wondered things I wanted to do, but I couldn’t. Anyways once you are dead, it doesn’t matter. Fever was rising. I again considered my thought is dying ok. It might be painful; my body was already aching so much, it might really hurt more as I neared death. Strange is life and its moments. I wished I could see light once, I wanted to see brightness but outside my window everything was dark and gloomy, perhaps the right time to die. When I was young, I had this gut feeling that I will not die the way others do, but I never thought it was going to be so funny before death. I felt gay, couldn’t jump or scream because I had no vitality. But my heart was joyous. Still staring at the roof above and listening to Elton john’s Mona Lisa. The fever hit my head then, I quivered. My eyes closed. Ten minutes later I opened my eye, I was still alive. I wanted to put this experience on pen. It drove me to the MS word. My fingers move faster on the key board, then any other thing, probably I can be a good typewriter. Then I wondered where I am going to go once I die. Hell or heaven? Doesn’t really matter I can be good typewriter any where. Pee before you die, I saw my pale face in the mirror. Surely death was approaching me. I pulled key board close to me and lay in my bed. I will enlist the last thing you before you die. Some body died just for inferring the taste of a chemical. Probably this discovery of mine would also be of some use. What are last things I want to see before I die? I saw Eddie Vedder’s picture, he gave me lot in life, and with all due respect his words “think different” hit my mind. Desolation, fear and agony three words that lost there meaning. Mentally unstable, speaking or rather typing these words, that’s what I seem. Probably true, I freaked out. My head grew heavier. It is four forty one in the morning. I might get to see light once for the last time. A man followed into my room, I told him to put this on

Tuesday, July 12, 2005


One year of await finally ends, not to mention it started the night it ended last year. Ardent followers dressed up in impressive black gush outside the arena where the prestigious act is about to start in a few hours of time. It is a high demand show. The most applauded concert in the northern part of country, a prestigious contest of Rock Giants from all over the nation.

I wait for this show the whole year, for last six years I haven’t missed a single one and with every coming year my enthusiasm keeps on waxing. The show starts at 5 in the evening always delayed from its programmed time, because of the over burdened shoulders of immature undergraduate student's organization. I enter three hours before the show and see the bands going through the crucial sound check, setting there electronic machines to the tones of the console. Shrilled distortions, shrieked blazes from the stringed instruments ignite a covetous desire to head bang.

Running around with a bag full of entry passes and a walkie-talkie in my hand the situation was a mixture of high tension and excitement. Assuring everything to be at place and every event on time, managing a dozen sub ordinates, allocating duties, really meant a lot. The pressure is high when you know the responsibility of an event where the hopes of around five thousand people for a good show is fairly on your little team. And the relentless authorities of your institute will not tolerate a little deviance from ideality. They want things right at place and right on time no matter if a person stands for 24 hrs without sleep.

Half past four in the evening and all bands ended their sound check, I announced the evacuation of OAT, “Please leave and show your passes and enter again, cooperate so that we don’t call security”. Crowd showed sensibility and moved out. Dean of students calls me and enquires for all the details. So far so good. Band entry is from the VIP gate, all bands show there passes and enter at one time with me at the gate to verify there identity. We did so, I sounds easy but it took one full hour to enter bloody 6 bands in. I move to the other entry point and see a very common sight such an event. Some what thousands standing in queues, some with entry cards rest just hoping to swindle the security.

Every time it happens thousands of uninterested random beings just out of curiosity, who don’t even have any sense and respect for Rock n Roll get in and leave when they are unable to tolerate, wasting the chance of an ardent rock fan. Me and my pal decided this time we will try curbing this shit to the extent we can. I had some what around 300 entry passes, in my bag and I was running around giving people I knew deserved to be in. All thanks to my professor who understood the emotion behind it and thanks to my luck that day. I got around fifty people entering from the VIP entry all deserving ones. Another pal contributed to the effect by cajoling the security guards at the general entry point.

Success shows. After an hour or so my dean comes to me and tells me why the people are not leaving. When you have such a big crowd to handle, you have all the logistics of crowd in flow and out flow worked out. Under normal circumstances, something that had been happening for last few years, around after an hour of the event starting a gust of crowd moves out and then the gates open again to let those in who were left out. But there logistics failed this time, they experienced something that was very unexpected, people in stayed in. I saw Dean’s face and smirked, he made jeer remark at me when I was talking about Blitzkrieg with him about rock fanatics. And that moment I saw a perplexed authority. I told him, today there won’t be any such cycles and that actually happened. No one left the theater, every one was jolly in the frenzy cloud of the music rising high, reaching the seventh sky, listening to the guttural screams of the metal maniacs.

The event was an ultimate success. All credit to the team. It was an effort applauded by everyone around. The Dean was exalted, he gave us chocolates congratulating for our success.

Determination is strength, you can make differences with your will even if they are minor, and if you have a strong true emotion behind it your efforts will surely get what you want, all you need is little bit of God, rest is you, all the best.

Friday, July 08, 2005

Deep in my Heart

Will you love me till the day I die
Will you love me in the after life
Will you pray to the seraphs and ask them to make sure I'm alright in my next life

Would you massage my back if I asked you
Would you believe me if I told you I loved you
Would you hold me tight and kiss me
And if I tried to get away would you say come back I ain't finished yet

If I told you I hated you would you take it to the heart
If I told I was leaving would you just let us part
If I had plane tickets to a tropical island far away
Would you drop everything you're doing and come away with me

Why is it we can never tell how we feel about each other
Why is it so hard to believe each other
Why is it that really don't trust each other
Why is it that we lust for each other

Why I think these things I really don't know
Maybe I think someday soon you might go
Or maybe it's just the opposite and I am just tired of all this shit
Would it really affect our lives if we were to part
I know when you answer these questions they will stay deep in my heart

PS:- This is by a friend of mine Sana. (All comments should be addressed to her)

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Modern Day Warriors (Lovers)

Love is no less than a war, and lovers no less than zealot warriors. Lovers’ fight the war against world to stay together, and at times they are ready to lay there lives for this purpose. Ranjha died, Romeo was killed.

Driven by the ardent emotions, which results from one stupid chemical secreted in our brains called Dopamine. Love has beneficial effects on you. Falling in love makes you more attractive, with the secretion of sex hormone estrogen that makes our skin softer and improves blood circulation. So all babes around get ready fall in love ;)

Love, if we look back into time it was pretty different at that time or may be the examples I know are pretty different from the way I see it today in our society. Like the love of Heer-Ranjha, Romeo-Juliet, they were warriors who probably exemplify love in the most appropriate sense. I don’t think I need to educate any one regarding what these warriors were like. But now the times are changing. The concept of love is changing.

One of my dear friends, perhaps the one among the two best I have, doesn’t mind going around with any woman, no matter who she is for “a fling”. The funniest thing about it is that he tells every one of them “I love you sweet heart” and then he tells me, “Man this time I have fallen in love”. Preposterous! And funny. The whole essence of love is lost it is used for everyone. Ok answer this! Why you say I love you to someone? Because you find him/her really special, meaning that probably he/she is your whole life’s most precious possession. You go around with a person and you hide your true emotions. Both of you know what you feel about each other, but you are just two scared to face the reality and you just can’t say it. Any relation that lasts, that has a stronger basis is one that is based on true facts not on fake illusions that one creates.

Another pal tells me that you can easily love 5-6 people in one life. Now I think of it, I just can’t stop laughing at this statement. But surely you need a king size heart to accommodate all of them. I wish had that big a heart. Last time I went home, a friend of mine told me in his pompous tone, “I got 30 women’s contacts in my cell phone, till date I have slept with half of them, I just want to complete the list”. I was like holyfuck! But all I could say was good luck buddy. I wish your dreams come true. (Pretty Lusty :P)

Another friend of mine had a sex relation ship with a woman for four months. But they clearly had the rules stated, they knew it on the first night they had sex and they knew it on the last night they had sex. Today, still they meet and they are like very good friends. The whole point is you have to be honest enough in expressing your true emotions so that the complications do not persist at later stages. Grudges are going to creep up if things are not clarified. Keeping things in heart is pain, unless you are a sado-masochist, which I presume 95% people are not, any one would hate it.

Sometimes I feel it is my traditional thinking that doesn’t allow me to think the way others do. I haven’t grown with the society. Our society is becoming fast with time. And surely lot of it is inspired by the western culture. Human beings pick evils quickly, perhaps I am not being rational enough to call it evil but I am sure even if our society doesn’t pick the traits of hard work and loyalty, we will surely adopt most of the evils of their culture.

Modern day warriors, they fly with the wind, not against it. This provokes me not to use such a respectful word like warriors!

This article is fairly open to criticism and I know fingers are going to be pointed and doubts about pragmatism of things are going to be raised. But believe me foundation of a lasting relation ship love, friendship is honesty. You might hurt a person for temporarily but in long he/she will respect your honesty.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~mAKe WorLD A LovabLe PLAce to live in~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friday, July 01, 2005

Dawn of Slavery

Poverty is going to be eliminated because every one who is poor is going to die in impoverishment.

That’s precisely what globalization is doing. All right now I know fingers are being pointed, you will have things like creation of tremendous job opportunities, initiation of technology transfer, and economic prosperity of middle class to mention. Let us not be so selfish, I know at individual level and that too only to individuals of a particular section of society, globalization is doing good, but when it comes to economics the main emphasis is on the poor not the already rich.

We have had quite a bit improvement in the number of employment opportunities in our nation since last ten years or so. There has been large number of industrial setups with opening up of the economy. Cheap labor and resource exploitation was the buzz word in the era of colonization, and say what, it is the same even today under the name of Global economy and development loans to the poor country. I know this is something, which is really hard to escape, seeing the fact that we do need loans and we do need technology for rapid development. But there has to be a check, there has to be a filter which ensures that we only pick the stuff that we really need and be a little wiser at our policy making substance.

I will give a simple example. We have a canteen called KLS (which serves good food at fair prices), and then we have the Nescafe’s in our campus (which provides coffee, maggy and muffins, equally good, at least not better). Now the differences and what makes us prefer Nescafe over KLS (which is totally domestic), first of all, the fact that it is not open 24 hrs a day. The next, perhaps unconsciously or consciously but surely because of the way things are served. Looks matter; we again unconsciously or consciously, like those fancy cups and maggy dishes. Seriously it might sound trifling but it is a fact. And see how the Foreign shit exploits us, KLS just revised its rates once, raising prices by 50 paisa, and this counterpart of his raising maggy from Rs. 8 to Rs. 12 and Coffee from Rs. 3.50 to Rs. 5.0. How small, isn’t it? How much does it take, a mere difference of 1 or 2 bucks? Hardly matters to me or to you. But you know what he did with it? He is sending all that profit to a foreign country. The guy a Nescafe is paid Rs. 4000 per month and same for the guy at KLS, but the guy at Nescafe looks smarter. He says hello to all his customers for nice repeated visits, which the KLS man does not. The result is loss of business for him (a domestic industry at the part of a foreign industry). And can you guess what is ultimately going to happen, few years ahead we will have a pizza hut in IIT, pizza corner and KLS would be gone. (A case of domestic industry being over seized by a foreign industry).

Similar thing happened in case of most of the cottage in our country! Similar thing happened with ‘Thumbs Up’ if I am remembering it correctly. Ludhiana is known as the Manchester of India, all clothing is made there only, but it gets tag of Levis, Reebok, etc and is sold under a brand name for hefty prices. And see who is buying it? Rich or the middle class who can afford it, they could have any ways bought it.

I am not totally anti globalization; I know it something we just can’t escape from. All I am saying is that we need a good quality control at all points. If the leather is made in Jalandhar why can’t we have the similar quality under the name of some Indian brand than a foreign one? And we need a little bit policy improvement at some points like not letting our own industries subside due to a foreign industry, because that would eventually end up in the displacement of our domestic industry by them and that is going be the dawn of slavery!