Monday, March 28, 2005

Parental Advisory

There are times when we tend to lose all the rationality we earned all our life. We behave erratically, without thinking about the consequences our actions have on our surroundings. Night before holi, just before the clock was about to hit twelve while I was soothing down in my bed a music apart from my creepy rock n roll hit my head. No it wasn’t music but a cry. Cry of a woman. Firstly I ignored it thinking it to be an un-illustrated illusion or many of the strange voices in my head. But the cry rose, with its shrilling tone it sent a current down my body. And then the cry of a child too. I was startled deep down wondering what it could be. I lowered the volume of the music system. I figured out, it was a woman, screaming at her husband. Possibly because he was beating her. She screamed continuously at even higher pitch than before. Her words were loud but unclear. it was a cry, cry against patriarchal cruelty, an injustice to which there was no respite. It was a cry against unhappy married life, the torment her so called husband had given her, the cry for not getting the dignity she deserved. Along with all this was a cry of an innocent soul. The child, what about him? What about the psychological impact this instance would cast on him, which probably he will never be able to forget. Imagine the site of your father dragging your mother out of your house and you just stand there watching and crying endlessly. Even the thought of that scares on to shit. Everyone’s parents fight because they are kind of inevitable but the effect on children is horrible. That child would always be scared of her mom and dad getting split. A child naturally wants harmony among her parents so that they can give him the love he deserves but if they have conflicts they unavoidably make the child a victim.
How about if we can just give it a thought this while or another that kids don’t deserve to see violence, it scares them to shit. And even if parents are having conflicts they shouldn’t lose their humanity. I know it is easier said than done. But we can obviously make an effort with the awareness of the evil effects it has on family life in general!

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Selfless Love

"When you love someone you should be unselfish enough to give them what they want", source forgotten.

Friday, March 18, 2005

Love of An Angel

The love of an angel. Angels who don’t stay on earth. They visit only for short durations. Angels who are enticing but not lasting. I fell in love with an angel only to realize later that I was a mortal not meant for a heavenly being. It makes one a typical Romeo, saying things that sound so melodramatic to someone who cannot comprehend the state of love. It is like a pinnacle of yearning, longing for something far away. As I see my love, it lies somewhere in stars, beyond the realm of mundane objects. It wakes me up, two past twelve. I peep out of my rectangular window to gaze the sky. My eyes probe very little to catch the pride of sky. she shines brighter today, brighter than ever before. The glow on her face steers straight through my heart, a piece of flesh that palpitates only on a sight of her. With a sudden flash of supernovian beauty appears her an angel in human body. There is no convulsion of earth and heaven! My soul as pure as a child’s mind leaves my mundane body as it stars with stone eyes appreciating the pulchritude of the lady love. Soul convulsion and dancing to the symphony of love is sight I can never forget. Rising above the skies, it felt like touching the moon with my heart palpitating at a rate faster than ever before. Angelic glow is for ever. But sight of angelic glow is temporal. The kick of the angel took me to the seventh sky, but everything that goes up comes back to ground till the time you are an earthly being! With no reasons no restrains my soul is deserted. I fall, this time I fall, fall for an earthly law, fall with time never to rise again. I see myself lying under the window. The heart full of love stopped pulsating.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Last Day

As if God had given me exactly one month of happy love life. My spree of romanticism ended as she left for her home. The farewell was melodramatic, somewhat similar to any retrograde Hindi movie that I would reject with a sense of relentless humor. The only way it differed was through the involvement of Hi-tech accessory of mass communication. She left as we shared last minutes on cell phones, till the time her battery got exhausted. And man, it was emotional. Sentiments rush was on a high.

Good byes are tougher for those who are left behind. Because the person left behind has lost something whereas there is a whole new world in front of the person leaving. In any case it is hard for both, only the levels differ. Her last words made me realize that I really meant something to her if not everything. She wanted more from life but at that moment her words made a cry that I was really precious for her, and if she wants someone to be seated besides her at that moment, it was me. Six twenty nine, last call from my cell, and she left.

I tried catching sleep; with restless turns finally I got out of my bed at 7:00. 8 o'clock class after 20 days, man I was screwed, attendance fucka on charts. Four hours of lectures and I returned back to my room. I moved to one of my friends room. When you miss something you look for alternates. No calls today, no morning teasing/applauding messages, just he and his selfish woman talk. I came back to my room and crashed into my bed. Two hours of moon dreaming, cant exactly recall what it was. I woke as in movies, I had a nightmare dream. I felt pukish. I wasn't sick, I double checked. "What the hell? What's wrong with me?" Pukish on losing something! "Where are those calls?" I said to myself. I went to the loo, washed my face and left for library. Tried concentrating on studies, with my exams just four days ahead. Meanwhile I talked to her cousin. My opening sentence was an apology for the call being completely selfish. Well I was missing her like hell, and I wanted some support and I had no one. I wanted someone who could make me stronger, sad but true, I found no support. No evening talks, no sweet voice, no flattery, no 'gussa hona', no business like messages reading "come online", no missed calls, no late night chit chats, man I missed everything like a person blindly in love. First day was real hard, I wondered how would I survive but time is huge force. I took out my sweat shirt which had her fragrance and smelled it. Thought, she is beautiful and I miss her. I wrote her a mail to let her know how much I was missing her and how my first day without her had been.

I am not a Paulo Coelho fan but I really liked 'The Alchemist' and I would quote it directly from there, "When you strongly want something and make an effort for it the whole universe conspires for you to achieve that thing". I received a message that read, "hi. i m messaging from my brothers cell, come online".

Jan 31st, 05