Friday, January 21, 2005

Logical Regeneration Of Faith

There are times in my life I feel so empty, so meaningless, so stupid that I wonder if it is all vain. I feel I have no strength. I look at the mirror and see the formation of an image about to break, about to vanish. I feel so trivial. I see no skills. No aim. I find myself wandering aimlessly in this world. I find myself building fragile dreams that are always broken by you. I find myself working every bit to save a fruitless image. I find myself struggling to save my identity. Struggling for something I am myself not sure of. What am I existing for? Surely not to pander to sophomoric desires. Desires for which I fight like hell, later only to realize the height of stupidity they hid under their enticing faces. Everything boils down to god. If you were god my question to you would be why am I here? If I get the answer to this question I need no science, I need no education to live a blissful life which for that matter is a fake illusion. Probably God put us into this place without giving us the real strength to know the purpose of life. And here we are today wandering aimlessly being unsure of every next bit. What should I do? Where should I go? and all this Why??? keeps me troubling all the time. Is love the ultimate aim? Is it money? Or success? Or it is knowing God?
Lets analize it. If we talk of the things for which we already have standard protocols, then they are achievable. We have people who have done it and we will have people who will do it. Like for example love. You give love you get love is something that is a universal protocol for achieving love. You work hard given sufficent opportunities and luck so earn success or earn money. But what in case of God?
Its different...lack of existence of a standard protocol, a visible and apprehendable one may not be a mere coincidence. Something that should exist but no one knows! No one has seen. it is different. Now the whole point is that if you are unsatisfied, vainful human being and you feel similar to what i feel, then you must learn to trust your gut. I have! My gut says, "Dude you lose interest in every other thing you try, but you never lose your faith in God. Sometimes you might say I have no faith but you always find yourself reverting back to him. For the rest you are sure but for God you are not! That makes him different! Something unique in which you never lose interest. Something thats like a last resort for you. God is there. Path to God is unknown. Some say it is meditation or some spiritual crap. It could very well be that but i dont know. They dont have any proof. You should follow a path of faith and gratification to his holyness. He will take you along."

2 comments:

Rahul said...

Hi Abhinav,

First of all let me congratulate you for such a nice writing..the selection of words are really damn amazing!!

Now you tell me ..What is a Faith?? and how its born??For me a faith is an illusion to achieve something which you always wanted to.and by the time you reach the goal,your same "faith" forces you to move on for a higher level goal and the chain-reaction continues.

We keep and nuture a faith according to the need of its existence.For example,A love which you have defined through a Universal Protocol of "Give and Take".Every Protocol have its own clauses and sometimes your very own faith makes it(the protocol..) so much uni-directional(by pushing it beyond the limits of self-imagination..),it leads to either side of Give or Take.

We always look deeply into the connotations of "moral values" in our public life,say.. for those who cited it on election day and those who vehemently rejected it in the weeks that followed.We human have a tendency to always seek something from the God....sometimes we became so materialistic..we hide our greed with our own Faith.

Abhinav,More than a God,You yourself are the last resort!!As I told you before,God and Faith are such vast illusion based topic,you can even write a Phd Thesis on it,but still the answers will make you clueless.

God is our Ultimate Guardian & Faith is a food by which he feeds our soul,so you should better maintain a proper soul-diet.

And yaah always remember,Beyond a mirror,there is always a world of GREAT EXPECTATIONS!!! So,Just Try to look beyond it!!There are so many happy faces..waiting 4 u..

Regards,
Rahul

P.S: I have been refered to your blog by one of my friend MunMun Gupta,Hope u didn't mind my words of action..(wink).In return.. You can check out my blog.

Abhinav said...

Hi Rahul

Firstly I want to thank you for your post. Its really Kewl to have critical thoughts for someone of your stature. I mean i went through your pages and i can really see a gr8 writer in that...I love having a critical debate. n i can guess the same is most probably true for you. i expect that our critical analysis will lead to opening of atleast my jammed head.
Okie... now coming to your queries. the first one....de beauty abt ur article is tat u ask a question aand your answer it urself. n its very true faith is generated by your own self. righty a medium to generate strength to achieve wat u want. ...
now faith in God??? may be we created god!!! i want god bcause it tells me to do things tat r ethically n morally correct! it tells me love ppl..it tells me b tender. n yeah...faith as defined is self generated ....tat gives it de flexibility of being individualistic....now consider this case...tommorow i come up wid something like this.."i think tat killing ppl is wat satan wants us to do" de basic assumption here is that i have faith in satan. n i believe in his idealogies! ...it can vary from a person to person...for a real world example u can take de faith of muslims in kashmir!!! they say jihad is perfectly ethical!!!
so its like sayin one shld do wat ur heart says...i mean i wrote this article bcause i wanted to condition my head n heart in a way tat it followed the path of holyness! n its like conditioning urself...
actually i keep losing my faith in god n keep digressing to paths tat i dont want...so i wanted to put it in words so that i cud read it to pull myself back ontrack.

thanks again for postin me! its my frst post...always spcl...thanks dear. keep in touch!

Regards
Abhinav Swara

PS: really nice one "God is our Ultimate Guardian & Faith is a food by which he feeds our soul,so you should better maintain a proper soul-diet"