Friday, March 24, 2006

Once again...humane

This one is again about the premarital relationship of a man and woman. Well over the last few years I have seen a lot of relationships being made and broken. Many of them were successful, in the sense that they continued longer than others. Herein I present a story which focuses primarily on the sad part of this kind of bond.

Let us see how a relationship starts and shapes up. One of the sexes, predominantly the male, makes advancement towards the other and this other who is vulnerable to love, responds affirmatively. And thus, a couple starts going around, and are called to be in a relationship of love.

The story is actually not that simple. Rather there are complications added by inequality of devotion, commitment, interest and responsibility. I shall give these vital ingredients a single name of love. In 90% of the relationships that I have seen in my life this has been the case. In rather fortunate 10% cases the couples are actually unanimous in their love towards each other. In rest, one or more of these ingredients is missing.

There is an inherent flaw, and the answer follows from the study of fundamentals of human nature. Principles of competition and ambition, very much apply here too. Let us take the case of couple Rahul and Soumya. Rahul proposed Soumya telling her that he is crazy about her, he loves her from the deepest core of her heart, doing a lot of flattery, impressing her with his dedication and sincerity before she finally said yes to him. They happily go around, have fun. One day Rahul met another female Monica and finds her exceedingly pretty. He goes back home thinks about her only. She doesn’t get out of his head. He compares Soumya and Monica. Soumya’s beauty no more appeals to him. Monica seems smarter than Soumya. On the other side Soumya sleeps thinking about his beloved boy Rahul, planning for the coming Sunday. They meet and Rahul tells her that he no more likes her because she is not her type or giving her all kind of reasons telling that he is no more interested in her. She is speechless, she doesn’t know what to say, the guy who loved her so much yesterday no more likes her. Where did she go wrong, where did she fail to keep up the relationship? All these queries were waste, because that guy was gone.

They broke. Whose fault was it? No ones. Rahul found someone better so he moved to her. Don’t we shift jobs when we find a better one? Don’t we change houses to move into a new better one? Just that jobs and houses don’t have emotions like Soumya. But does it matter for Rahul. No a person who is leaving never cares for that. He/she doesn’t see what is left behind. What shape would it take when they are gone? Isn’t it a part of our ambitious character that we want to move to better things in life? I guess it is, very much. Similitude analysis will tell that this was a part of growth for Rahul. Yes, along with ambition it also shows the selfish character of Rahul, for the sake of his own pleasures/fun, he is indifferent to the pains of Soumya. Transformation of Love --> Hate, Love --> Selfishness

I was never a feminist, for some time in the years of haze I did become one. Don’t think that its only men who have this so called dog character. Women are equally crooked. Another similar story, based upon the lines of lack of availability of good products. This female, Aarti starts going around with this guy Mohit. Aarti was never interested in Mohit, but it was his increased persuading and lack of availability of good opportunities that made her say yes to him. Under such circumstances as soon as the good resources are available naturally Aarti would feel vulnerable towards them. And Mohit, just being lagging behind in the race won’t be the best of options available, would be exceedingly prone to suffering. He is dumped after a month because Aarti has finally found someone else who is better than Mohit, to it is time to say good bye to her time pass. Aarti was a beautiful girl and yes she deserved better than Mohit and had all the rights to go to a better guy but without playing with Mohit’s emotions. But again, if I have some cheap bread to eat today, and I hope to get good quality bread tomorrow won’t I consume the cheaper bread today? Or will my right to have good quality bread tomorrow be regarded sacrilegious? Transformation of Love --> Hate, Love --> Selfishness

For most it won’t be difficult to say that I crapped. And there was clear a cut flaw in my argument surrounding the amalgamation of principles applicable to non living things and living things.

I don’t profess a theory here. It is just an argument mocking the ruthlessness surrounding a large number of relationships. Is there a way out? Or the only way out is staying out of it?


munmun said...

i knew i wud b the first one to post a agree to wat ure trying to convey...true nothing lasts foreva except true love and true love is rare ....the very word love seems so fragile n alien to me now...those who manage to make their relationship a success ,must congratulate them as its a symbol of fertility on dry sand....lika always gud work..keep blogging.cheers.

123 said...

People who hop from one relationship to another havent found "The One" and if such misunderstandings happen with the one, then there are clearly communication gaps and lack of emotional bonding which needs quality TIME.

A person who goes out with somebody with the intention of passing time clearly lacks spine.
On the other hand,in case of people who are not frivolous...there might also be a lot of confusion, a person might be attracted to a few qualities and personality traits in a person hes going out with, but must be confused if these are all the qualities he wants in his mate or is there something missing? And, when somebody who is a complete fit and has all the things that the person was looking for comes along, obviously there is a shift of loyalties in the heart.

A break-off should be made as painless as possible, but it only happens when there is something wrong with the relationship, and the onus is on both the people to constantly examine the relationship and make sure your partner is happy. When one of them or both fail, then the result is a break-off. Why would two people who are happy with each other and happy together feel the need to look elsewhere?

Nobody in this world wants to compromise when the whole life is at stake. Happiness is at a premium, nobody wants to waste time being miserable with a non-responsive partner and be caught in a negative emotions' rut.
One may call it selfishness, ruthlessness, but passivity and non-responsiveness is equally selfish and ruthless behaviour.

Abhinav said...

oye 123
interestin opinion but who r u man?? u got no page...wud lyk to read...;)

jshishir1 said...

man...u do kind of look life through too much of simplicity..r relationships kind of that simple..i find it humourous when u compared relationships with jobs..and houses..but hey must admit like the name soumya

Abhinav said...

haha....i lyk de name too..infact thr is this very pretty grl..from whom de character is inspired :P

i noe the comparison is too much of simplification..but de underlyin belief is is based upon very simple principles...

read ne of plato's philosophical texts...he makes weird analogies wich r hard to accept..but still dey lead to very simplified n acceptable solutions...

so, my pt. is neva luk at any argument wid contempt...:)

it was nice to have ur views.